The whole dying thing is so trippy. It's a real game changer when you finally absorb the fact, with absolute certainty that it's not just something that will happen to 'somebody else'. As silly as this sounds, there is a level of understanding that comes to the elderly....and the terminally ill. It's a different level of understanding. It's real.
In that moment in time when the full reality of death came to me, my body shook for hours, uncontrollably. It was raw horror. Some time later I reviewed my memory of this day in my life. I was somewhat shocked to realize how emotionally divorced from the reality of death I had been. That was 11 years ago. The horror dissolved into a calm acceptance. I am no longer afraid.
That day was the beginning of what I now think of as my "real life". Everything before that moment now seems like a dress rehearsal. It was only in my full embracing of the temporary nature of my existence that I found the full value of my life.
I could write a book on all the ways in which perspective, priorities, my life has changed since that day. I won't do that. I will just make note of it here. Everyone will understand eventually....even if only for a brief moment before their own death. It is an incredible experience and it leads to an end of so much of what we run from and fear.
